Thursday, August 04, 2005

 

Napkin Notes (need writing advice)

This is what I have so far. I want to have a college gang hanging out there, living their lives during the third shift when it's usually just the regulars to interact with them. Anyone have any ideas on some templates for students / townies? I started writing this ages ago:

Scene: West End Diner, Allentown. The light is harshly bright except in the foyer on stage right. The entrance is stage right at the foyer, where there is an outdated video game and a video poker machine. The peach plastic booths, although not exactly clean, are free of rips and other effects of vandalism. The floor is green and is missing many tiles. The metal-rimmed counter stretches out behind the booths from the edge of the foyer stage right to the desert case and exit to the restroom stage left. Behind the counter is a door to the left of a window with a metal ledge, both of which lead to the kitchen.

Sheryl is the stereotypical diner waitress. To sum up, if she wasn’t working at this place, she could be a prison matron. She is medium height, thick-waisted and with a slightly sour expression. She is wearing a thin white sweater, black slacks, and white sneakers as an attempt at a uniform. Her grey, thin hair is tied back in a ponytail. She moves slowly, annoyed that she has to do her job when her coffee and crossword puzzle are waiting for her on the counter. She enters from the kitchen door with a full sugar shaker, begins filling shakers on tables from it. Talks to audience as she works.)

Sheryl: Let me explain a few things before the crowd starts showing up. Diners are everywhere. Schools are everywhere. Usually there’s a meeting of the two where you get the drunk frat brats squirting creamers and puking on the bathroom floor. This is one of them places, but they only get away with either one just once. Fortunately, there’s more to this place that keeps me going through ‘til the morning shift shows up and I get to go home to my dog.

(It would be at this point that the first of the other characters would walk in, but who will it be?)

Comments:
I like the prison matron comment--maybe you should have two groups of people come in--the goths and the frats--both of which despise each other. You could have the conversations between and within the groups (little snide remarks, etc.)

Dialouge usually spices things up!

How you doing, lady?
 
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