dandelionfiles

This is what I have so far. I want to have a college gang hanging out there, living their lives during the third shift when it's usually just the regulars to interact with them. Anyone have any ideas on some templates for students / townies? I started writing this ages ago:

Scene: West End Diner, Allentown. The light is harshly bright except in the foyer on stage right. The entrance is stage right at the foyer, where there is an outdated video game and a video poker machine. The peach plastic booths, although not exactly clean, are free of rips and other effects of vandalism. The floor is green and is missing many tiles. The metal-rimmed counter stretches out behind the booths from the edge of the foyer stage right to the desert case and exit to the restroom stage left. Behind the counter is a door to the left of a window with a metal ledge, both of which lead to the kitchen.

Sheryl is the stereotypical diner waitress. To sum up, if she wasn’t working at this place, she could be a prison matron. She is medium height, thick-waisted and with a slightly sour expression. She is wearing a thin white sweater, black slacks, and white sneakers as an attempt at a uniform. Her grey, thin hair is tied back in a ponytail. She moves slowly, annoyed that she has to do her job when her coffee and crossword puzzle are waiting for her on the counter. She enters from the kitchen door with a full sugar shaker, begins filling shakers on tables from it. Talks to audience as she works.)

Sheryl: Let me explain a few things before the crowd starts showing up. Diners are everywhere. Schools are everywhere. Usually there’s a meeting of the two where you get the drunk frat brats squirting creamers and puking on the bathroom floor. This is one of them places, but they only get away with either one just once. Fortunately, there’s more to this place that keeps me going through ‘til the morning shift shows up and I get to go home to my dog.

(It would be at this point that the first of the other characters would walk in, but who will it be?)

1) my cheap headset radio bled signals from the local top 40 station and the local hard rock station together and suddenly Natasha Bedingfield and Chris Cornell were duetting, and that I thought, Hey, they sound good together?
2) that my kitchen floor should be too hot to walk on barefoot?
3) that my oil painting has taken two months to dry?
4) that I actually fall asleep in front of the television, a thing I swore I would never do after spending my childhood being awoken every other weeknight at 11:30 by the Ironside theme blaring from my parents' room?
5) that any fool would attempt to live in central Ohio in August?
6) that any fool would attempt to live in central Ohio in August without air conditioning?
7) that any fool would attempt to begin blogging in central Ohio in August, when all sane people either sit in buildings with air conditioners, go swimming, or lie around panting?
8) that 8 people have already viewed my profile? (that last one might be just scary)
9) that I just admitted to the world that I'm writing a zombie movie set in Amish country? and, finally, that
10) that I just admitted to the world that I've been naked outdoors in a magical ritual, despite not being a great beauty or, indeed, a believer in magic?
Hey, I could come up with ten more, but is that what you want? Think about it.

Congratulate me! I became a menace to society today. I am now one of the living dead.

Oh, I didn’t bother to go the direct route. You know the one we’re all familiar with: dying, getting sprinkled with lots of mystical powders, then being raised from the grave to make an appearance in movies that pay homage to George Romero. I don’t even remember the “dying part”—I just couldn’t sleep for forty eight hours although I skipped all medication and/or caffeine that I’ve used in the past that are supposed to help regulate my sleep cycle.

So far, my experience as a zombie hasn’t been what I expected. Despite all predictions, I’ve so far felt no desire to eat any brains. Luckily, my husband hasn’t noticed any rotting smells from my direction, and the makeup mirror isn’t reflecting anything too menacing, so I may be able to contribute to society despite myself.

As a social scientist, I feel it is my duty to chronicle my experience as a zombie. In the interest of enlarging knowledge of the subjective experience of zombiehood, here goes:

1.) Everything gets more surreal than usual: all those things you took for granted? Did you realize how incredibly weird they really were? For example, have you ever thought about how odd televisions were? They’re everywhere—they even have one in the building I teach in. Once you notice televisions, have you ever noticed how slackjawed watchers appear in front of the set? Doesn’t it make you wonder if I’m not the only zombie running around? What is the deal with commercials, anyway? We know they’re trying to sell us something and we have resistance to them, yet they’re ubiquitous. Imagine being an alien who picks up a television feed and sees a commercial. What is this alien supposed to deduce about modern human existence?

2.) You ever notice that in zombie films most zombies just seem to be bleating, whereas the mortal characters have deep thoughts? Lately, I’ve noticed it is the other way around.

3.) Is it my imagination, or is everything just really unbelievably funny? Why can’t I stop laughing hysterically?

4.) How do I stay upright?