Thursday, October 27, 2005
Writing Exercise to warm up for Nanowrite Month
(Working title of the book which I'm starting in November: Experimental Demonology)
Recipe found in Great Aunt Hazel's cookbook
Garden Demon
Description: this demon is very small, about doll size, making it an ideal gift for a child who needs disciplining in a big way. I call them garden demons because they are handy for obliterating any pests such as aphids or rabbits in any vegetable garden. Garden demons are demonic enough to wreak havoc on what you want, but small enough so's you can squash them if they get too irritating. These creatures are good choices for those who are just learning how to conjure!
Ingredients:
6 pomegranate seeds
1 cup myrrrh
1 thimbleful of tears shed by a brokenhearted virgin
One sermon (can be on tape or just a transcript) from Billy Graham
Howdy Doody mask
Picture of a Mogwai as shown in the movie "Gremlins"
Dirt from a graveyard which has NOT been consecrated
Vinyl album from any of the following: Enya, John Tesh, or Yanni
six cat hairs (yes, coat color makes a difference. Tabby cat hair tends to create demons that turn into meatloaves and are too shiftless and lazy to terrorize properly. Personally, I prefer basic black cat hair).
Rabbit or small furry animal that you have exanguinated
(I was kidding about the rabbit or small furry animal bit. You didn't go out and torture one of those cute creatures, did you?)
1 cup Vilma Sadie's Special extra hot demon sauce (can be purchased in town for only 4.99 a bottle and is excellent for barbeques!)
Instructions:
Make sure you are working in an area where you will not be interrupted. I'm telling you this because when the kids wander in and see what you're up to, they're bound to make up incantations of their own and you don't want to know what creatures could be created besides garden demons, trust me.
I personally prefer to conjure on a concrete floor in the basement. It's much easier to clean up afterwards, and the kids are too afraid of the downstairs to bother me much. Crayola works fine for fashioning your ancient symbols and your Futhark letters, and they come up real nice with vinegar so they won't ruin your whole house. Make sure your pentagram is big enough to put all the ingredients in.
Mix all ingredients. Say incantation (see annex of this volume) three times. Make sure your candles were lit in the proper order, and that the candles aren't aromatherapy candles, because that makes demons itchy and harder to command. Do naked creation dance.
Your demon should be ready for you by the time you step out of the circle. Good luck!
Recipe found in Great Aunt Hazel's cookbook
Garden Demon
Description: this demon is very small, about doll size, making it an ideal gift for a child who needs disciplining in a big way. I call them garden demons because they are handy for obliterating any pests such as aphids or rabbits in any vegetable garden. Garden demons are demonic enough to wreak havoc on what you want, but small enough so's you can squash them if they get too irritating. These creatures are good choices for those who are just learning how to conjure!
Ingredients:
6 pomegranate seeds
1 cup myrrrh
1 thimbleful of tears shed by a brokenhearted virgin
One sermon (can be on tape or just a transcript) from Billy Graham
Howdy Doody mask
Picture of a Mogwai as shown in the movie "Gremlins"
Dirt from a graveyard which has NOT been consecrated
Vinyl album from any of the following: Enya, John Tesh, or Yanni
six cat hairs (yes, coat color makes a difference. Tabby cat hair tends to create demons that turn into meatloaves and are too shiftless and lazy to terrorize properly. Personally, I prefer basic black cat hair).
Rabbit or small furry animal that you have exanguinated
(I was kidding about the rabbit or small furry animal bit. You didn't go out and torture one of those cute creatures, did you?)
1 cup Vilma Sadie's Special extra hot demon sauce (can be purchased in town for only 4.99 a bottle and is excellent for barbeques!)
Instructions:
Make sure you are working in an area where you will not be interrupted. I'm telling you this because when the kids wander in and see what you're up to, they're bound to make up incantations of their own and you don't want to know what creatures could be created besides garden demons, trust me.
I personally prefer to conjure on a concrete floor in the basement. It's much easier to clean up afterwards, and the kids are too afraid of the downstairs to bother me much. Crayola works fine for fashioning your ancient symbols and your Futhark letters, and they come up real nice with vinegar so they won't ruin your whole house. Make sure your pentagram is big enough to put all the ingredients in.
Mix all ingredients. Say incantation (see annex of this volume) three times. Make sure your candles were lit in the proper order, and that the candles aren't aromatherapy candles, because that makes demons itchy and harder to command. Do naked creation dance.
Your demon should be ready for you by the time you step out of the circle. Good luck!
Comments:
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Maybe one episode on tape of Oprah would work better than a Billy Graham sermon? They both have kinda big hair.
Just a thought. :^)
Just a thought. :^)
You were just kidding about the small furry animal? This is why I need to always read the entire recipe before starting. Now I've got all this mess to clean up ...
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