Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Egg Shape? Huh? Or--proof I am finally getting old.
I never thought it could happen--I never realized that one day I, too, would look upon fashion bewildered, asking, "this is supposed to be attractive?". I am now officially a "fuddy duddy" and "not with the times" and instead of upsetting me, I am convinced it's a sign of maturity.
I've disagreed with other fashion trends recently, but I was able to deny just how unhip I was becoming. After all, I was able to justify my anti 1980's rerun fashion attitude by claiming a traumatic past (ie, having actually have had to have lived through the eighties and seen them firstand), but I can deny maturity no more. I have seen the newest trend of fall fashion, and it is butt-ugly. What's worse, I originally believed the new trend was a practical joke instead of serious.
Maybe being unhip isn't such a bad thing, though. It at least means that I hopefully will not be spending money and donning the butt-ugly attire and feeling incredibly unattractive the entire time. Two words, folks: EGG SHAPE. Remember how, exactly, an egg is shaped--narrow and round at the top, thick and puffy at the middle, narrow at the bottom. This is the shape that people usually try to avoid, as it indicates a higher risk for heart attack. It is now the shape of clothing, with actual wires inserted into the garment to poof it out so it doesn't suggest that anything remotely human is donning it. The effect the garments have upon models is to make them look deformed. The effect it will have upon the average human being is that we will all suddenly resemble teletubbies.
Sigh--I just don't get fashion anymore. Are there any special geriatric pills that I now must invest in?
I've disagreed with other fashion trends recently, but I was able to deny just how unhip I was becoming. After all, I was able to justify my anti 1980's rerun fashion attitude by claiming a traumatic past (ie, having actually have had to have lived through the eighties and seen them firstand), but I can deny maturity no more. I have seen the newest trend of fall fashion, and it is butt-ugly. What's worse, I originally believed the new trend was a practical joke instead of serious.
Maybe being unhip isn't such a bad thing, though. It at least means that I hopefully will not be spending money and donning the butt-ugly attire and feeling incredibly unattractive the entire time. Two words, folks: EGG SHAPE. Remember how, exactly, an egg is shaped--narrow and round at the top, thick and puffy at the middle, narrow at the bottom. This is the shape that people usually try to avoid, as it indicates a higher risk for heart attack. It is now the shape of clothing, with actual wires inserted into the garment to poof it out so it doesn't suggest that anything remotely human is donning it. The effect the garments have upon models is to make them look deformed. The effect it will have upon the average human being is that we will all suddenly resemble teletubbies.
Sigh--I just don't get fashion anymore. Are there any special geriatric pills that I now must invest in?
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Lynx, fashion reporter!
Actually, egg shape was known in former times as the "Empire waist" or the "A-frame." At least on me. :^) But I am a bad person to ask about fashion, since I've never really kept track. I will say that whenever the menswear look is in, the various comments to me along the lines of "Hey, lesbian," diminish. That's really the only way I know that fashion is changing. So, thanks for the updates!
Actually, egg shape was known in former times as the "Empire waist" or the "A-frame." At least on me. :^) But I am a bad person to ask about fashion, since I've never really kept track. I will say that whenever the menswear look is in, the various comments to me along the lines of "Hey, lesbian," diminish. That's really the only way I know that fashion is changing. So, thanks for the updates!
Close, but no cigar, actually--the egg shape has been depicted with an empire waist (which is flattering, btw), but it's also been a straight up EGG-like shape:). Check out the latest Vogue if you don't believe me--
The best I can say for the look is it reminds me of a teletubby. This is sexy?
The best I can say for the look is it reminds me of a teletubby. This is sexy?
All I can say is that if you have small (even relatively small) boobs and a big butt (like, oh, say, me), the Empire waist does NOT flatter!
But I have seen the egg shape that you speak of, and yes, it is pretty hideous. Perhaps it's meant to give the bodies of the coked-out, food-deprived people that model the clothes some sort of sensuality, without making them do anything so disgusting as, oh, eat some food. It's "fat" without lipids. Other than that, I can't see a reason for it... but then again, I'm a redneck who aspires to the bourgeoisie, what would I know of high fashion?
But I have seen the egg shape that you speak of, and yes, it is pretty hideous. Perhaps it's meant to give the bodies of the coked-out, food-deprived people that model the clothes some sort of sensuality, without making them do anything so disgusting as, oh, eat some food. It's "fat" without lipids. Other than that, I can't see a reason for it... but then again, I'm a redneck who aspires to the bourgeoisie, what would I know of high fashion?
Whew! I was afraid somehow I'd managed to see things wrong or something--I mean, they tried to make the shape look more attractive by superimposing other cuts onto it (like the empire waist, for instance, and yes, that does work for curvier types--trust me on this one:).
On the one hand, it is actually kind of original--let's face it, it's not a rerun of fashions from ten years ago. On the other--the reason it hasn't been done is because it's UGLY-I have yet to see a professional looker look nice in an egg shaped dress, let alone your average everyday person.
Maybe it'll just blow over soon and we'll go onto something else--maybe it's not a sign of old age---
(Yeah! Help my denial!)
On the one hand, it is actually kind of original--let's face it, it's not a rerun of fashions from ten years ago. On the other--the reason it hasn't been done is because it's UGLY-I have yet to see a professional looker look nice in an egg shaped dress, let alone your average everyday person.
Maybe it'll just blow over soon and we'll go onto something else--maybe it's not a sign of old age---
(Yeah! Help my denial!)
This is why I NEVER pay any attention to the "latest fashion." I stick with what I like that looks good on me and I don't care what everyone else is wearing. Egg shaped is now sexy, huh? Why are you surprised? Didn't kids just go through the last 4 years wearing pants 4000 sizes too large for them? And that was the trend, folks, that was considered "sexy."
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