Thursday, November 23, 2006
Holliday Hollywood Cheeze-whiz
*note: starfish is denying her engagement--which is fishy, because my source is pretty darned reliable. Hmmmm...however, in the interest of reporting the tooth and nothing but the tooth In the past, friends and I have tried to screen potential mates of Starfish's--you know, making sure the right number of heads are attached, they're not Republican, etc. It has long been my dream to one day view a new suitor while squinting my eyes, make a point of looking at his mouth, and scream loudly with abject abandon, "CHECK HIS TEETH"! at the top of my lungs whilst other friends in starfish's posse hold the poor sucker down, all the while laughing hysterically while Starfish plots vengence ("You'll get pregnant SOMEDAY, Lynx. JUST YOU WAIT"). For some reason, Starfish has refused to introduce the posse and me to possible suitors for a while. I wonder why?)
ANYHOW, The CURRENT ENTRY. Gossip time is OVER.
Holiday weekends often inspire marathon movie watching. As a horror fanatic, I wanted to indulge all of the Halloween spirits I was too busy writing studies to enjoy during the actual holiday itself. Technically, I’m still in the right time of the year to be plugging good spooky stuff. According to the Victorians, spook season lasts from Halloween until Winter Solstice, anyway—with Ghost stories told on Christmas eve rather than Reindeer tales.
Of course, Halloween has passed, so I admit that I’m going to recommend the genre of horror that goes well with the cheeseballs and crackers of the season—cheesy horror, or horror with a side of humor. Here are three movies worth watching during this wacky weekend:
1. Slither—This little 2006 movie was underappreciated. Serenity fans will recognize Nathan Fillion, the commander of the now defunct series that should have gone on for much longer. He’s our lead hero here, mooning over lost childhood love, portrayed by Elizabeth Banks. That’s the romance angle—all movies have to have one, or else some horrific consequence too awful to contemplate occurs (having never seen one of these films without a romance of some sort, I don’t know what the awful thing is). Fortunately, this movie spares no expense at portraying slime and grossouts, so the romance can’t possibly make the movie too gushy.
The lead beastie is NOT following the current clichés, so fans can cheer while yelling “NO ZOMBIES OR VAMPIRES, HURRAH!” whilst saluting appreciation towards the creators. Instead, the menace is brought to earth through a meteor rock which hatches into an ancient species which infects whatever species are on a planet, breeds, and consumes it until everything is dead, whereupon it becomes yet another space meteor in search of new dining adventures. The beastie has a “hive mind” in which anything that is infected with it is instantly conscious of everything that any other infected thing can perceive as well as has full access to everybody’s memories, knowledge, and skills.
2.Shawn of the Dead—OK, OK, so zombies infect this flick. However, realize this flick is a few years old, hence, zombies were still new when it was originally conceived instead of the clichéd annoyances they are now. In fact, a lot of the current clichéd annoyances have tried to rip of this flick, as it was genuinely original and amusing to watch. There’s several layers of story here—a man finding his inner adult yet learning how to connect with his immature past constructively, a lost relationship he’s not ready to give up on, and a beer joint that he can consider his second home. Brilliant dialogue, laugh-out funny lines, and intelligent, thoughtful, quirky characters make this one a winner worth viewing again.
3. Tremors--yes, the original--it's the best one, after all--this one is the ORIGINAL cool horror flick in which people brilliantly work together to outwit mysterious wormlike people eating creatures who have decided the small town of Perfection, Nevada, which is geographically isolated from everything and four hours from help would make the perfect buffet dining meal. Kevin Bacon justifies his existence in this film. The writing is hip, amusing, the characters hysterical, eccentric, and altogether too much like relatives you won't admit to. If you have not seen Tremors, you have been cheated--this is worth watching, you get actual characters who think and plot and outsmart the monsters, and that's unique enough to make this one an all-time classic.
Have a great Turkey Day!
ANYHOW, The CURRENT ENTRY. Gossip time is OVER.
Holiday weekends often inspire marathon movie watching. As a horror fanatic, I wanted to indulge all of the Halloween spirits I was too busy writing studies to enjoy during the actual holiday itself. Technically, I’m still in the right time of the year to be plugging good spooky stuff. According to the Victorians, spook season lasts from Halloween until Winter Solstice, anyway—with Ghost stories told on Christmas eve rather than Reindeer tales.
Of course, Halloween has passed, so I admit that I’m going to recommend the genre of horror that goes well with the cheeseballs and crackers of the season—cheesy horror, or horror with a side of humor. Here are three movies worth watching during this wacky weekend:
1. Slither—This little 2006 movie was underappreciated. Serenity fans will recognize Nathan Fillion, the commander of the now defunct series that should have gone on for much longer. He’s our lead hero here, mooning over lost childhood love, portrayed by Elizabeth Banks. That’s the romance angle—all movies have to have one, or else some horrific consequence too awful to contemplate occurs (having never seen one of these films without a romance of some sort, I don’t know what the awful thing is). Fortunately, this movie spares no expense at portraying slime and grossouts, so the romance can’t possibly make the movie too gushy.
The lead beastie is NOT following the current clichés, so fans can cheer while yelling “NO ZOMBIES OR VAMPIRES, HURRAH!” whilst saluting appreciation towards the creators. Instead, the menace is brought to earth through a meteor rock which hatches into an ancient species which infects whatever species are on a planet, breeds, and consumes it until everything is dead, whereupon it becomes yet another space meteor in search of new dining adventures. The beastie has a “hive mind” in which anything that is infected with it is instantly conscious of everything that any other infected thing can perceive as well as has full access to everybody’s memories, knowledge, and skills.
2.Shawn of the Dead—OK, OK, so zombies infect this flick. However, realize this flick is a few years old, hence, zombies were still new when it was originally conceived instead of the clichéd annoyances they are now. In fact, a lot of the current clichéd annoyances have tried to rip of this flick, as it was genuinely original and amusing to watch. There’s several layers of story here—a man finding his inner adult yet learning how to connect with his immature past constructively, a lost relationship he’s not ready to give up on, and a beer joint that he can consider his second home. Brilliant dialogue, laugh-out funny lines, and intelligent, thoughtful, quirky characters make this one a winner worth viewing again.
3. Tremors--yes, the original--it's the best one, after all--this one is the ORIGINAL cool horror flick in which people brilliantly work together to outwit mysterious wormlike people eating creatures who have decided the small town of Perfection, Nevada, which is geographically isolated from everything and four hours from help would make the perfect buffet dining meal. Kevin Bacon justifies his existence in this film. The writing is hip, amusing, the characters hysterical, eccentric, and altogether too much like relatives you won't admit to. If you have not seen Tremors, you have been cheated--this is worth watching, you get actual characters who think and plot and outsmart the monsters, and that's unique enough to make this one an all-time classic.
Have a great Turkey Day!
